Comfort
Sequel/Series: no
Pairing: CLex
Rating: PG-13
Category: first time, h/c, sappy romance, definite snugglefic
Archive: list archive
Notes: heh, worked out this fic in my head whilst flying home, I was so bored and had no pen!
Warnings: nah don’t be daft
Disclaimer: not mine
Summary: Clark and Lex’s friendship gets closer
The first time it happened, it was Clark who came to Lex. Later, Lex would say nothing would have ever happened between them without that closeness of friendship. Clark had other ideas, but he kept quiet.
@>*~
Lex was woken by a tiny noise and he sat up quickly, glancing round the room. His eyes settled on a figure standing in front of the open window. “Clark?” he whispered. He’d recognise that silhouette anywhere. Ignoring the obvious question of how the hell Clark had gotten into his room in the middle of the night without alerting security, Lex beckoned to his friend.
“Oh Lex, I’m s-sorry,” Clark stuttered awkwardly. He was on the edge of tears and had almost left as quickly as he’d arrived, when he’d realised that Lex was asleep. But he desperately needed someone to turn to and his first impulse had been the older man. “I just, I need…” He started to cry.
“Clark?” Lex grabbed hold of his young friend’s hand as he stumbled over to the bed, and pulled Clark down next him. “Hey, it’s okay.” A little unsure, Lex put his arm round broad shoulders and hugged Clark close. That’s when the teenager dissolved into sobs, and Lex bit his lip worriedly, completely out of his depth.
Feeling a little stupid, but unable to stop crying for the moment, Clark clung onto the smaller man. In the back of his mind, he knew that Lex was probably wondering what was going on, and why a sobbing teenager was holding onto him like a limpet, but he didn’t care. All Clark knew that aside from his mother when he’d been a kid, this was the most soothing hug he’d ever had.
With that thought comforting him almost as much as the embrace itself, Clark finally managed to calm down a little and he pulled back. “Sorry,” he repeated.
Lex frowned in bemusement. “Don’t apologise, Clark. You know I’m here for you, it was just a surprise.”
“I know,” Clark paused as his breath hitched, “But I really needed… and I… and you…” His breath caught in his chest again and he stopped, miserable and afraid that despite his words to the contrary, Lex was going to be pissed.
Smiling softly, Lex shifted, patting the bed for Clark to lay down next to him. Once Clark had settled in the space he’d vacated, Lex put his arm back round the younger man. “Do you want to talk about it?”
Blinking, Lex tried to remember the last time he’d asked someone that question and realised he couldn’t. It was certainly a night of firsts. He’d never invited anyone into his bed without sex on his mind since his early teens. And for that matter, Lex couldn’t ever remember being cared about and trusted in enough to be a shoulder to cry on before. He hugged Clark tighter, touched in a way he’d have thought impossible before meeting the younger man.
“No. Yes,” Clark sighed, “My folks have been arguing a lot and my Dad.” Stopping, Clark tried to think of a way of criticising his father without bringing up the alien problem, which was part of what they’d been arguing about.
“It’s okay, Clark, you don’t have to say anything if you don’t want.” Lex was more than familiar with paternal issues. No one could possibly understand better that sometimes you just wanted to cry, maybe scream and shout too, but definitely cry. To have someone you could turn to when you did, was a novel idea, but probably nice.
It struck him, that maybe for the first time in his life, he actually did have someone to turn to. Lex smiled again. Clark had changed his life in many more ways than he could initially have imagined.
“Thanks,” Clark whispered. “I’m sorry I woke you, but I was kind of here before I thought you might have gone to bed.” He sighed again, unconsciously snuggling back deeper into Lex’s arms.
“I really don’t mind,” Lex answered truthfully, “It’s nice to know you thought of me.”
“Well, of course,” Clark said quickly, then stopped and turned round to face his best friend, “You’re the first person I think about whenever I want to tell someone something, or if I’ve done something, or whatever. You’re my best friend you know?!”
“Okay,” Lex replied, grinning a little at the young man’s vehemence. “Just so long as you know you can always come to me, about anything, at any time.”
“Thanks Lex.” Clark leaned forward without thinking and pressed a gentle kiss to Lex’s forehead. Then he dropped his head to Lex’s shoulder and closed his eyes. He was far too comfortable in his best friend’s presence to be worried that kissing him, while they were in wrapped up in bed together might be considered inappropriate, if not downright weird.
Trying to deal with varying emotions battling for dominance had Lex fighting against tears of his own. He didn’t really care that holding your best friend close in the same bed was not a normal thing for two young male friends, so long as Clark was happy. The level of trust was simply not one he’d ever encountered before.
It was a long time before Lex slept.
@>*~
They’d never really spoken about the night he’d slept with Lex, but Clark wasn’t worried. Even though he’d felt bad about leaving early in the morning without saying anything. Clark hadn’t wanted to disturb Lex again, and it didn’t seem as though the older man had held it against him.
In fact, he’d noticed a slight change in their friendship; a closeness that hadn’t been there before. It was as if a new level of trust had been reached. The only downside was, that Clark felt even worse about keeping the alien issue a secret.
But it *was* nice. Their friendship hadn’t ever made an issue out of personal space, but Clark had enjoyed the increase in pats, squeezes and even hugs from the older man.
Maybe Lex would even realise that he could be a shoulder to cry on too, if the older man ever needed it.
@>*~
“Lex?” Clark had come home to find a black Ferrari in the driveway. His mother had told him that Lex was waiting for him in the loft.
“Hey, Clark,” Lex greeted his friend tiredly. He was exhausted. A day of meetings in Metropolis with his father had taken it out of him more than he’d realised, until he’d collapsed on the couch in the loft and dozed off while waiting for his young friend.
“What’s up, Lex?” Clark asked in concern. The dark smudges under Lex’s eyes and paler than usual complexion had him worried. He sat down next to the older man.
“Just needed some respite from a terrible day,” Lex sighed.
Clark grimaced, “Your dad being difficult?”
Lex choked. “I think that’s somewhat of an understatement, Clark.”
Sighing quietly, Clark shifted closer. “Whatever you need, I’m here.”
“Thanks, Clark.” Lex leaned over and dropped his head onto his friend’s shoulder, “Just the company of someone who cares about me is great.”
Wrapping an arm round his best friend, Clark squeezed gently. He always felt bad for Lex, that his relationship with his father was so hard. “He might not show it, like, at *all*,” Clark sighed, “But I think, deep down, he does care about you.”
Lex laughed, then choked again as his throat closed up and tears welled up uncomfortably. “You have met my father, haven’t you, Clark?” he asked, breath hitching as he tried to control himself, “He doesn’t care about anything but money and the Luthor name.”
Grimacing at the bitterness of Lex’s tone, Clark pulled the older man into a full hug.
Lex held on tight and gave into his tears, confident in the knowledge that he could trust Clark with his emotions.
Letting Lex cry, Clark rocked his friend slowly, gently stroking his scalp, something he’d never quite dared do before.
“Just once,” Lex whispered through his tears, “It would be nice if he’d give some indication that I’m more to him than just an heir.”
“I know,” Clark replied, “But you are to me. You’re my best friend. Lex. That’s all you need to be with me.”
Wiping his face, Lex looked up. “Thanks Clark.” He leaned up and kissed Clark’s temple, then sighed, “I should go.”
“You don’t have to,” Clark offered quietly.
“I know,” Lex smiled finally, “And I don’t think I can explain how much that means, but I do have to go.”
“Okay,” Clark replied, “See you tomorrow?”
“Definitely,” Lex nodded, returning the tight hug Clark was giving him.
Watching the older man leave, Clark put his fingers to his temple and smiled softly.
@>*~
It was amazing to Lex to have a relationship with someone where he could be completely honest and open and not worry about being bitten on the ass.
He knew, of course he did, that Clark was still keeping something from him; but he also knew that Clark would tell him if he could. So Lex accepted it, for now anyway.
He trusted Clark that much, which was actually pretty scary and extremely novel for him. But it felt good. He hadn’t cared about someone so much since his mother had died and Pam had left.
@>*~
The bed dipping next to him, woke Lex and he turned over, putting his arm round Clark.
“Hey,” he whispered. It was probably the fifth time now that Clark had appeared in his room and gotten into bed with him, seeking comfort. And Lex was more than happy to give it. Sometimes he felt as though he slept lighter every night, waiting for Clark to come; and slept better when Clark was there.
“Sorry,” Clark whispered out of habit, even though he knew now that Lex didn’t mind.
“What’s up?” Lex asked quietly.
“I…” Clark paused. Nothing was really wrong, he’d just needed his best friend. Badly. But how to explain? “I just wanted, needed…” He stopped in frustration.
“It’s okay, Clark,” Lex smiled gently and pulled his friend closer.
“Thanks,” Clark sighed, snuggling in. He closed his eyes. “It’s funny.”
“What?” Lex asked.
“I sleep better here… with you,” Clark whispered. It sounded strange to say it, but it was true. And somehow, he knew Lex understood.
Chest tightening with unfamiliar emotions, Lex nodded. “Sleep, Clark,” he whispered.
Wrapped in each others’ arms, feeling safe, whole and comforted, they slept.
@>*~
Lex was pacing. A bad sign, as Clark knew by now.
“Let it out, Lex.”
Lex snapped his gaze onto the younger man, almost glaring at him. “Fuck!” he swore loudly, “He just… and he… God! What do I have to do, Clark? Huh? Bleed for him?!” Lex felt his chest tighten and his jaw started to tremble. “Clark?”
Lex reached out and Clark was there, holding him close, head cupped round the back of his head. Comforting.
It broke Clark’s heart to see Lex like this, to see him hurt and know that really, he could never truly heal the wounds to Lex’s heart that his father had caused. It made him want to hit something, preferably Lionel Luthor. How could he treat his son that way? Lex was… Lex was an amazing, intelligent… beautiful person.
“It’s okay, Lex, it’s okay,” he whispered.
“He’s my *father*, Clark, why doesn’t he love me?” Lex sobbed.
“I don’t know,” Clark whispered, “Because I know he should.” Squeezing his eyes shut, he wrapped both arms round Lex and slowly manoeuvred them to the couch. “You know I love you, right?”
Laughing softly on hitching breath, Lex nodded. “I know. I love you too, Clark.”
They stayed on the couch for a long time, just holding each other. It didn’t feel weird, just good that they each had someone so completely accepting of themselves.
@>*~
Clark sat on the end of the bed, rather than getting in beside Lex as normal, and sighed.
Lex sat up. “What’s wrong?” he asked, immediately concerned that Clark wasn’t lying beside him.
“I have something to tell you,” Clark started. He’d been wrestling with the issue for so long and he’d realised that he couldn’t stand lying to Lex any longer. It felt like a violation of their friendship.
“I’m listening,” Lex said softly, holding out his hand.
Clark took it, managing to control his strength so he didn’t crush Lex’s hand. “I’m not human, Lex. I came down in a little ship during the meteor shower,” he paused to take a deep breath, not daring to look up at his friend, “I have these weird powers that keep developing and it… I… God, Lex, I’m so sorry I never told you, but I’ve never told anyone, I…” He stopped before he started to hyperventilate.
Lex forced himself to breathe slowly, to keep his emotions in check. Strangely, or at least strangely for him, for the moment, Lex was far more concerned with Clark’s distress than his own shock. He crawled onto his knees and put a hand on Clark’s shoulder, pulling him closer.
“Shh, it’s okay,” he whispered. And somehow, it was, because Clark had told him something he’d never expected to be told. And yes, it *was* a shock, but it was Clark and that made everything okay.
“I’m sorry,” Clark repeated, burying his face in Lex’s neck.
“I know, and it’s okay,” Lex said softly. “Come on, lie down, we can talk about it tomorrow.”
Clark nodded and got under the covers with his best friend, holding on tightly. The relief that Lex hadn’t outright rejected him was enormous and finally allowed Clark to relax enough that he could drift off.
@>*~
As always, Clark had disappeared by the time he woke up, which gave him time to think about the revelation from the previous night.
It was fucking *wow*! Completely unreal and surreal, but explained *so* much. It didn’t enter his mind that Clark might be lying, not when he’d seen what it had cost the younger man to tell him. How scared the young man had been of rejection.
But knowing the kind of person Clark was and the closeness of their relationship, meant that Lex wasn’t scared, worried or even particularly freaked out.
The night spent with his best friend asleep in his arms had alleviated the shock and left him with acceptance. That and gratitude that Clark had trusted him with a secret of that magnitude.
The phone ringing startled him out of thought and Lex rolled over, reaching out to pick up the handset.
“Luthor.”
“Hey, Lex,” Clark said hesitantly.
“Hi,” Lex replied, smiling softly to himself.
“I can’t come over later, I just wanted to… you know…” he paused, “We’re okay, right?”
“We’re okay,” Lex confirmed quietly, “More than. Thank you.”
“For what?” Clark asked in confusion.
“For trusting me,” Lex said.
“Oh,” Clark sighed happily. “You know I do.”
“Yeah,” Lex nodded, “It’s just nice, you know?”
“Yeah, I do,” Clark replied. He loved the trust Lex showed in him by letting him see his emotional side and the closeness between them. “I’d better go, I’m at school.”
“Okay, I’ll see you soon, Clark,” Lex said with another smile.
“Soon,” Clark agreed, “Bye, Lex.”
“Bye.”
Lex lay back again, his mind preoccupied with Clark.
@>*~
“Clark, I’d like to have *some* food left in the house after tonight,” Lex laughed.
Glancing up from where he was crouched by the fridge, Clark pouted, “C’mon, Lex, we can’t have a movie night without snacks.”
“Exactly, Clark, *snacks*,” Lex said pointedly, but still smiling so Clark knew he was only teasing.
“What can I say, I’m a growing, alien boy,” Clark laughed.
Eyes widening, until he remembered he’d given all the staff the night off, Lex stared at Clark. “You know you should never say that out loud, even if we *are* alone.”
“Sorry,” Clark sighed, “It’s just nice to be able to say it, you know?”
Lex nodded, “I’m sure. Come on, have you got enough food now?”
“I think so,” Clark mused, staring over the pile on the kitchen table.
“Good thing you are who you are, because *you’re* carrying it all,” Lex said decisively.
After another pout, Clark nodded and grinned, “Well of course, most of it’s for me anyway.”
“I take it you will be sharing at least some of your raid with me?” Lex asked only slightly sarcastically as he led Clark out of the kitchen and towards the den.
“Of course, Lex,” Clark replied from behind his armful of food, “Only you get that privilege, you know?”
Smiling softly, Lex nodded, “I’m touched, Clark.”
Clark chuckled, “You should be, I think Chloe and Pete would suspect body snatching if they discovered I was sharing my munchies with *anyone*.”
Lex collapsed onto the couch and watched Clark carefully deposit mountains of snacks onto the coffee table, then drop onto the couch next to him, pressing close. Grinning, Lex hit play on the remote, having already set up the movie.
It didn’t take long for Clark to put his legs up on the couch to curl up against Lex, dropping his head on the older man’s shoulder and slinging an arm round his waist. He was so used to the physical closeness of their relationship, it didn’t occur to him not to.
Smiling happily, Lex relaxed into the embrace and put his arm round Clark’s shoulders.
“Clark?” Lex started quietly.
“Hmm?” Clark whispered, not looking up because he was too comfortable.
Lex blinked, unsure of how to bring the subject up, despite how close they were. He cleared his throat. “You’re staying the night, so uh, are you…”
Clark froze momentarily. It hadn’t occurred to him that he wouldn’t be sleeping with Lex. “Well, I thought, you know, because we always do…” he trailed off uncertainly.
“Okay,” Lex breathed out in relief, “Good.”
Smiling with relief of his own, Clark lifted his head to look up at his best friend, meeting Lex’s gaze. It seemed the most natural thing in the world to just lean up and gently kiss his best friend, and the man he’d only just realised he’d fallen in love with.
Sighing happily, Lex pressed closer so he could deepen the kiss. He’d known for a while now that his feelings for Clark went further than friendship. To have them returned was more than he’d hoped for. Tonight, they would share his bed as more than friends, but for now he was happy ensconced in Clark’s arms.
They didn’t need words, they both understood and after another gentle kiss, they settled in to finish watching the movie.
end
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